What is your conviction?

Where do you think you’re going?

I have struggled, I have struggled for a long time deciding where is the right place in the world for me. To this date I have lived in 4 distinct metro areas yet none of them is a clear winner. None of them give me a clear conviction to forget about the other ones. In all of them I was able to adapt and be happy.

These are Warsaw, London, San Francisco, and New York.

Deep angles that matter

What is better for an extrovert than a vibrant city? The sheer density of people from all walks of life interacting with each other every day can produce the most intriguing of human connections that simply would be impossible in the suburbs. Even though big cities were declared dead in Covid for the same density that made them great, deep down inside I knew I was going to be back eventually.

I was recently chatting with a friend asking me whether I have a place I call home i.e a place where I had been able to develop deeper connections with fewer friends. Surprisingly enough, I never felt lonely in above cities primarily due to the fact that they attract people that I am attracted to that I had always been introduced to. Things probably would change but until all of my friends settle down, I feel as if there will always be social movement between them allowing me to find those I am looking for.

Covid opportunities

I have been fortunate enough to not get personally affected by Covid health-wise, but it had a profound impact on my ability to socialize with others. I generally gain my energy from interacting with people which has been severely constrained for the past year. Seeing this crisis as an opportunity I made two major decisions knowing that opportunity cost of being outside NYC has never been lower:

1. Learn to fly I had always dreamed of
2. Explore living in other American cities

Six months on the road later, I have concluded that after experiencing Florida, New Orleans, and Texas, I do not see myself living outside a major but also globally attractive area in the US.

The paradox of choice

Having too many options often ends up causing a stalemate where we are unable to make a decision one way or another effectively stalling it. I recently finished reading The Art of Choosing I was gifted a long time ago (someone must have known me really well) that emphasizes that even if we all think we prefer the freedom to choose, on average we end up being worse off being given a choice. The sense of lack of agency in such a setup clearly did not resonate with me. It was not until a close friend of mine told me recently he was happy to “have had the decision to relocate to London“ effectively made for him that made me wonder whether I would be more satisfied if it happened to me.

Covid as a great checkpoint

I still strongly believe that I will be happier if I am the one that makes a decision as to which direction I am headed towards rather than being on the receiving end of it. As the world is moving back into, although hybrid, office-based world I decided to use this remaining time to explore myself more and try to answer the ever-looming question of NYC vs SF.

I admire people with strong conviction to do something or live somewhere. I am going to spend the next 3 months searching for my own one as I believe it can be a powerful force within me going forward. A direction signal to withstand whichever way the wind blows around me.