Learning to be a grown up
Life is a set of sequential events that keep on surprising us in mysterious ways. Imagine walking uphill on a ridge in windy conditions when you never know which way it may blow yet you must keep going. Every once in a while there is an unexpected gust that you can barely withstand making you rethink your strategy.
These major checkpoints are closely related to longer term decision making thanks to their magnitude and lower frequency. Be it a promotion decision at work, death or simply realization that our time is finite that put one’s life in perspective. Their impact and results are very different depending on how measurable the outcome is. Professional changes are more visible but mindset changes have a lifelong impact.
Have you defined your stepping stone?
Covid nomadland
The Covid 19 pandemic is one of those turning points that have challenged pretty much all the prior assumptions about their lives. I truly believe there is no one out there whose life had not been altered in any way. I do not regret focusing on living as, at the end of the day, I traveled as a digital nomad more extensively than ever before and managed to get my flying license.
Yet I would be a fool had I not admitted the negative aspects of nomading
Living out of the suitcase has been hugely positive to my life satisfaction allowing me to explore outdoorsy America. More importantly, however, it showed me that a stable foundation is necessary to move forward with larger life goals than a yet another national park visited or cuisine tried.
Living arrangements
A close friend recently bursted me out of my own thought bubble. His remark that when co-living I behave like a typical bachelor made me ask more questions. I had always considered myself an easy-going roommate aka perfect for flexibility and compromise.
I witnessed friends passionate about living alone after college to protect their own sanity. I had never felt the same need. Quite the opposite. I don’t think human contact is the underlying issue but rather how we interact with each other. Instead I sought more human contact. I believe that being flexible and adaptable makes you a better partner in creating a vibrant living situation with your future SO.
Intentional grounding
I may be a late bloomer in life decisions, but I love to make them consciously. It had taken me nomadic life during Covid and a meaningful weekend in SF to realize that I have grown up to start living on my own. It is not for the sense of stability but for building a stable foundation to make bigger and bolder life decisions.
I learnt first hand that having no stable base makes it nearly impossible to make longer term decisions and take responsibility larger than oneself. I am glad this observation comes from within rather than from the surrounding society as it gives me true conviction. Had it not been for Covid, I would have probably stayed longer in the status quo avoiding that decision altogether.
A stepping stone you can use to reach higher?
Complexity and stochasticity of the world
We live in a world that is more connected and transparent than ever yet the nature of opportunities we encounter has not changed: it still takes a leap of faith to spot and take on one. How many times have you ignored or rejected one for not being in the right spot? For me that has been the whole past year. It was just impossible to think about anything or anyone but myself knowing I was about to hit the road to a yet another town/state.
Building something new is in this world is hard and fraught with plenty of uncertainty. Be it a new business, job or a relationship; each comes with a new set of factors to consider that usually require adaptation and compromise. You can control some of them but may only be able to risk manage other ones and plan for accordingly. In the world where I want to build connections, it is extremely important to make the alignment as smooth as possible. Making difficult and emotional decisions is hard enough already without blending them with trivial but blocking constraints.
Reduce friction to saying yes
The old saying goes that you miss 100% of shots you did not take and you probably regret 10% of them. Yet those 10% were life changing but you let them walk past you for multitude of excuses. People always say that timing is everything but how can one help their luck?
In my case it is about sorting out and establishing my foundation that would let me take decisions of responsibility for not only myself but also others. I know I can’t control the world around me, but I can better better align my own circumstances to allow incentives to work their invisible magic.
